Category: Uncategorized

British scientists reveal that once per week there must be a Monday

  Oxford. United Kingdom. British scientists have released a report of the unwelcome truth that most of us came to intuit over time.”Every week for 24h straight, there is a natural phenomenon that cannot be eluded. Most of humans refer to it as Monday…

Peace activist buys all Tiós de Nadal in Catalonia to protect them from bodily harm

Barcelona. Spain. There is a Christmas tradition in Catalonia, that requires children to take care of this really cute log, the Tió de Nadal, during the month of December. They cover him up with a blanket, give him treats and water. Then on the 24th…

Swiss citizen rushed to the hospital after discovering bubblegum wrapper in the middle of the sidwalk

  Zürich. Switzerland. Swiss citizen Caspar Zimmerli was rushed to the University Hospital Zürich by an ambulance after displaying multiple symptoms of a heart attack earlier this morning. Mr. Zimmerli had collapsed to the ground after experiencing a squeezing sensation in his chest, shortness of breath…

Bored to death children of melophile parents elaborate plan to escape concert hall during intermission

Barcelona. Spain. Many are the woes of childhood, but none as unbearable as boredom, and nobody seems to understand this better than children of melophile parents. “For every letter of the alphabet, there seem to be three composers. Or four!”, little Wolfgang Amadeus Martorell, 9, …

Delicious morning coffee gone too soon

  Stratford-upon-Avon, United Kingdom. There is a saying that goes like this: “You don’t know what you’ve got, until it’s gone.” And let me tell you, ay, there’s the rub. When you first buy your coffee in the morning the possibilities seem endless, even on a…

Studies show that 8 out of 10 pieces of furniture prefer hurting the pinky toe

  Barcelona, Spain. Ever stubbed your toe in the comfort of your own home? When you least expected it? When everything seemed to be going right for you? Bristish scientists have conducted a survey among a series of different pieces of furniture, in an attempt…

Thursday and Saturday stand up for Black Friday demanding equal rights and an end to discrimination

  Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. “We have been putting up with this since 1952”, Thursday exclaimed. “We have been standing on the sidelines for far too long, both me and Saturday. Simply watching as our neighbor Friday is being taken advantage of, ridiculed,  stomped upon, forced to…

Indian Shared Service Center ready to outsource manpower to Germany

Mumbai, India. A groundbreaking business model has been presented to the board of ISSC / India Shared Services Center. Ready to bring the customer experience to the next level, the leaders of the company have decided to outsource their technical support team to Germany. “We…

Rats of Barcelona move to England after annual rainfall almost reaches the double of London’s

Barcelona. Spain. All rats of Barcelona have had it! Catalan, Spanish and Guiri Rats agree that it is not acceptable to live in these sewers anymore. “The quantity of water we have seen lately is beyond any imagination. We struggle to find new homes and…

Sauropods unhappy with Pangaea split as major airlines triple the cost of intercontinental flights

Pangaea, Earth. “Things are not what they used to be. Ever since our supercontinent started breaking up into pieces, our life has changed,” Mrs. Bigsome, the wife of the Gigantosaurus Community Leader explained. “Despite our political success, we’re not a wealthy sauropod family. With all…

Technical trainer seriously injured after falling from the height of his ego

Barcelona, Spain. Manuel Palo Alto was rushed to Barcelona’s Hospital Clinic after falling from the height of his own ego on Sunday afternoon, November 11th. Manuel had just finished showing off to everyone at an international engineering workshop and right after making the last person…

Trump administration releasing prerecorded video of thoughts and prayers, to be played after each mass shooting

Washington, D.C. Atfer Donald Trump’s sleep was disturbed this Saturday morning by yet another mass shooting, this time in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, he knew it was high time to take action. It was unacceptable that another incident of this type forced him out of the…