Category Archives: Sea

Spanish riot police and Catalan population bury the hatchet upon unexpected discovery of sandy beaches 10 minutes away from city centre

Barcelona

Barcelona, Spain. Following police brutality throughout the Catalan region on the 2nd of October, day of the Catalan Referendum for Independence, the people of Barcelona made a remarkable discovery that no one would have expected. It seems like 4 km of sandy beaches are outlining the Eastern part of the metropolis.

“We have no explanation whatsoever for having missed such an important part of our city. People were just walking towards the polling stations in the Barrio of Barceloneta when they simply bumped into this enormously beautiful body of water. We suspect it to be the Mediterranean”, mayor Ada Colau declared in a press conference.

Scientists believe the sea to be several millions of years old: ‘It’s so strange nobody noticed it before. It seems to have been around for quite some time. We always thought the heat was a bit too humid for a landlocked city, but with no clear proof we couldn’t just put a finger on it’, local meteorologist  informs.

Upon catching wind of the city’s beautiful beaches both Catalans and riot police dropped their political agenda and stormed to the metro and bus stations in order to experience this unprecedented view. Firefighters and local police dedicated the rest of their day to preparing Mojitos for the peaceful population. ‘It’s incredible how the beauty of nature can tame passions and bring conflicts to an end. Add a splash of rum and I promise you that’s as close to heaven as you need to get, Jordi, an exhausted, but enthusiastic Catalan firefighter declared for our reporter while mixing drinks.

‘At the end of the day, we need so little to be happy, love and respect each other as human beings’, PM Mariano Rajoy concluded, promising to stop allowing police to beat grandmas and shoot rubber bullets at civilians.