Category Archives: Rick and Morty

Area woman wearing ‘too hot for heaven too cool for hell’ slogan shirt clearly neither

20a00bb9c3045bba26edf5e748031740

An overconfident woman was spotted Monday morning at a busy metro station. She stood out in the crowd for wearing one truly empowering message across her chest, inviting the type of attention later to be condemnded as objectifying.

Admittedly, ‘too hot for heaven too cool for hell’ is one step up from ‘born to be fabulous’ or ‘queen of the trailer park’ one onlooker thought, but still kind of sad when not matched by reality. ‘She looks like the kind of girl who is in bed by 10pm, for Chrissake!’

‘It’s great to feel like you’re the latest craze, but be careful for your newfound attitude not to come across as the latest crazy’, overexposure expert dr. Dennis Small reveals. ‘It’s important to maintain a balance between reality and delusion, as unappealing as this may seem.’

The average looking woman, with probably a thing for shoes, quickly disappeared into the masses, turning her back to the passerby. ‘Why am I so mediocre?’ read the backside of her shirt. As soon as he caught sight of this, the poor chap desperately tried to catch up with her, exceptionally ellbow-striking three to five individuals on the platform (this is not how he would normally treat his fellow humans), but, alas, it was too late.

‘Isn’t it always?’, he thought to himself.

 

 

 

Survey reveals 97% of Rick and Morty fans are certain that Season 3 will not come out in 2016 after all

At midnight, December 31st 2016, planet Earth was surrounded by a most curious sound. It was not the sound of hope for the new beginning, nor the crackling of majestic fireworks exploding against a clear, dark blue sky. It was the sound of millions of hearts breaking. The particular sound of crushed expectation and lost belief, the moment when Rick and Morty fans had to admit to themselves and to each other that Season 3 had failed to drop by the end of 2016 and will never again have the chance to do so.
‘I can’t do this anymore,’ a fan referred to the desperate situation. ‘Where are my episodes, Justin? In bird culture this is considered a dick move’ shouted another one with bloodshot eyes and a broken bottle in his hand. Most people reacted like…such as that. And yet, about 3% of the respondents displayed a completely different type of reaction. When faced with this bitter reality the peculiar group refused to take facts at face value. “2016 cannot be over until the new Rick & Morty season drops. We’re not out of the woods yet and I can prove it mathematically’, a door salesman calmly explained. ‘They promised 100 years of Rick and Morty adventures forever anyway’, an office clerk with unusually long arms tried to steal the spotlight.

Moreover, a subcategory of fans presented the following theory: ‘This is obviously a test of faith. Only by passing it will we be worthy of the masterpiece that is Season 3.’ Others resorted to explain the unexplainable by the creators’ ability to time travel. ‘We can’t let them put this theory on the shelf anymore. Season 3 has aired already in a different dimension, in a different timeline where it is still 2016. Have you learned nothing by now?’ When asked by our reporters whether that theory wasn’t rather a projection of their own wishes, the 3% exclaimed simultaneously: ‘All Moonmen want things their way. It’s so hard to let go of your dreams.’

Written by Ana-Maria Taut with the contribution of Verpeléti András