Donald Trump reportedly listening to Gaga’s ‘Till it happens to you’ on repeat

Washington – Still-president Donald Trump who contracted Covid-19 from one of his top advisors is said to be quarantined at one of his homes downing shots of Clorox and listening to sad songs all by his lonesome. Melania Trump, also infected with the new virus, chose to check into a hotel for the sake of her mental health.

While we do not wish harm upon anyone, not even upon those who are literally begging for it, it’s somewhat interesting to watch the way the cookie crumbles. Strangely, although children are virtually immune to Covid-19 according to the president’s earlier statements, Donald Trump did get infected. We might want to take a moment and think about that.

Not long ago insiders informed us that everyone at the White House is polishing their guns. “We have to be prepared to shoot this virus in the face. We’re not gonna back down. As the greatest nation in the world, we are fighting to win.”, top medical advisor Beretta Baer Arms disclosed the nation’s unforgiving strategy to our reporter. “It’s us or them! It’s always been us or them.”

From the goodness of our hearts, as the difficult truth that he is not that special after all dawns on Mr. Trump, we recommend popping a first hydroxychloroquine pill while checking out the songs below:

In the early morning hours we could hear a male voice from Mr. Trump’s residence singing softly:

Me marcho hoy
Yo sé perder
Pero ah-ah-ay, cómo me duele
Ah-ah-ay, cómo me duele
Ah-ah-ay, cómo me duele

That sounds not so promising, Donald. We hope the leader of the free world knows he is not alone and can always, always pay for company. President Trump should also not worry about money as a financial aid of up to $1,000.- will arrive to his account towards the end of December. February, at the very latest.

We hope the president recov….Yeah, you know what, fuck it. Que te jodas, Donnie.

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