Area woman pulled over for driving under the influence of Deftones

Sacramento, California. “Roll the windows down, this cool night officer is curious”, were the muffled words area woman Rosemary No Yokan could barely hear while being pulled over out of the blue. Little did she know that the music from her car was blasting all the way down to the police precinct igniting the interest of night officer Metinhead.

You look like you’ve seen the butcher, miss. License and registration, please. And what’s this incredible band you’re listening to?”

“Oh, it’s Deftones, obviously, sir.”, Rosemary replied.

“Please step out of your vehicle, miss. We’re going to have to establish what exactly is going on here. Please stand on one leg, then blow into this device.”

Minus blindfold?”

“What?”

“No, nothing.”

“Miss, have you been listening obsessively to Ohms, the new Deftones album? My device indicates a 0.37 Deftones intoxication level in your blood. How many white ponies do you currently see before you?”

“Ociffer, how could I possibly just be quiet and drive under such circumstances? New music from this fantastic band? Oh, I see just about enough ponies to know I’m alive.”

“Well, diamond eyes, you may wanna stop acting like a teenager and turn that music up so more so the whole city can hear this flawless masterpiece! Would you do us all a favor? We’re super bored. Here, take some money. I’m fining you in reverse!”, officer Metinhead informed Ms. No Yokan.

“Sure thing, ociffer. That’s probably an error, but just let me go, will ya. I’m late to this knife party, Jesus. You uniformed guys should take more advantage of this radiant city we live in. Sometimes it’s like you’ve been entombed for decades. Do you know Christmas came early this year? Just order a copy of this puppy right here.”

Ohms, Deftones’ 9th studio album was released today, September 25th, and it’s just the sweetest perfection to our ears. Although like Rosemary, we’re super stuck listening to Pompeji on repeat and could not check out the other tracks yet, we will! Oh, will we now! Best freaking album ever!

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