Irishman caught staring at potato for 2 hours straight

Hackballs Cross. Ireland. If you may have thought that the classic Irishman’s dilemma is a thing of the past, we kindly ask you to think again.

An adult male, who we’ll refer to as Seamus in order to protect his real identity, was caught staring at a potato for an entire 2 hours before he dared stand up from the table and order a drink at the nearest bar spending the last few coins he didn’t have.

People who are not familiar with the classic Irishman’s dilemma, although it has been passed down from generation to generation like the Irish grudge towards the English, are invited to keep reading.

Perhaps you’ve been alone in a room with a potato before? Perhaps you were both hungry, thirsty, and wondered whether you should eat that goddamn thing or turn it into a drink later? That my friend, is the dilemma tormenting Irish souls since the 1840s.

“You don’t know what it’s like, I said, you don’t know what it’s like, to love to drink but also need to eat this delicious thing the way I love to.”, Seamus gave insight into what seems a deeper internal conflict. “Makes me just want to grab my fiddle and make it weep, you know, in our happy, upbeat Irish music way. Turn it up, Leprechauns!”

Because more and more Irishmen and Irishwomen have been faced with this cruel dilemma over the past year, China, the world’s greatest potato producer, decided to lend a hand and donate 0,2% of its annual harvest to Ireland. This decision was motivated by the goodness of Chinese hearts and the hope of increasing basically anyone’s dependency on their production.

Dǎlíngshǔ Wang, CEO of Eat Me, Drink Me informed that this is a necessity now more than ever as the year 2020 has had many a sober man and woman reaching out for starchy foods and the bottle. Of course, understandably so.

“As we navigate a difficult year, we must look at several problems from different angles and find ways to cover all of our needs with as little as a root tuber.” Mǎlíngshǔ Wang explains. “While 50% of the population reported they’d be interested in the possibility of French frying the hell out of their last potato, the other 50% expressed an absolute desire to ferment it for later use. “Where’s our grey area where you eat half of it and drink the other?”, Ms. Wang asked rhetorically. “You Europeans always have to be so dramatic.”

You want to know more about what your personal choice in this dilemma says about you? Are your ready to find out more about your real self? Click here to take our fun quiz!

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