London. The United Kingdom. Prince Andrew recently found out about Ghislaine Maxwell’s arrest which took place earlier this month. The British royal was
hiding in reorganizing his basement when our reporters reached out to him for an interview.
Prince Andrew was absolutely clueless about recent developments as he had taken a sabbatical to dedicate himself to becoming a primary school teacher (cough, cough) when our reporters broke the big news to him.
At first Prince Andrew was reluctant to talk to our reporters, but then quickly realized that he cannot damage his reputation any more than he has done in his 2019, BBC interview.
“I have no recollection whatsoever of meeting this woman. Ghislaine?! What kind of name is that and isn’t she like 60?”, Prince Andrew inquired. “That’s not exactly the piece of pie I usually have my finger in, you know, allegedly.”
We know, Andrew, we know.
The interview with the British prince had to be cut short due to his imperious need to resume arranging Michael Jackson’s library which he inherited after his death, but not before he assured us that his sincere friendship with Jeffrey Epstein was based on his magnanimity and nonjudgmental nature: “Everyone had turned his back on him after his prosecution. What kind of friend would that have made me? And no, I don’t remember ever meeting anyone called Ghislaine. What kind of name is that? And isn’t she like 60? If you’ll excuse me, please.”
Prince Andrew seemed totally not afraid that Ghislaine Maxwell might implicate him in the sex trafficking pyramid scheme built by herself and the late Jeffrey Epstein, just like Bill Clinton or Donald Trump don’t really stress a lot over it. In order to ensure national security, however, Netflix has commissioned a 12 episode documentary on Maxwell’s suicide. You can never be too careful!