Gyms reopen, adjust opening-hours permanently to tomorrow

Planet Earth. Gyms around the world are migrating their schedule to permanently reopening tomorrow, starting Monday, May 18. It is already bold enough to talk about a gym on a Monday and hope anyone will listen, that’s why fitness center managers have decided to encourage gym goers by making a long-term adjustment of their opening-hours.

“The timeout has allowed us to rethink our business model. We want to welcome our customers in an action-pumped, but not too intimidating environment and decided to shift the focus from physical activity to user-friendliness. This is the concept behind our new and improved accessibility. All of our gyms will be eternally opening tomorrow, allowing customers to keep promises to themselves and de-vilify procrastination. We are entering uncharted territory in the fitness industry and are proud to be the ones revolutionizing the business.”, Sofia Spud, the CEO of Tomorrow Never Dies, formerly known as Get Up and Go Gym, explains.

Customers are incredibly excited about the new philosophy. “This schedule fits my lifestyle really well. I used to have nightmares thinking of all the money I was wasting while attending the gym only once or twice a month, not to mention the remorse I had to process. And it’s not like that burns up any calories. Now I can waste money without the negative psychological impact of guilt and self-doubt, just waiting eternally for tomorrow to arrive!”, Futurity Eidel, a gym member, gave a glimpse into her happy thoughts.

Gyms worldwide will be permanently opening tomorrow starting May 18.
The long wait is over!

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