Rapperswil resumes rapper production as Switzerland loosens lockdown

Rapperswil. Switzerland. The lovely town of Rapperswil has reopened the doors of its Rapper Production Factory two months after the general lockdown was instated in Switzerland.  Located on the east side of Lake Zurich in the canton of Sankt Gallen, Rappersville Gangsta Production is the largest rappers supplying unit in the world.

Like everything else, the assembly lines took a hit on March 13 when Switzerland adopted the necessary measures to contain the spread of the new coronavirus. Classes were canceled, shops and restaurants were closed, and people were asked to avoid all unnecessary contact by staying at home. The rappers production units were heavily impacted by the nationwide lockdown with the output plummeting from 115% per month to a head-spinning 0,0%. “The international music industry took the biggest hit since MTV went from Beavis and Butt-Head to Teen Mom.”, informs entertainment specialist Busta Dime after assessing the damage.

We are finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, though. “Please be informed that Rappersville Gangsta Production has resumed its activity early this morning and will be ready to release the first full-functioning rappers by the end of the month.”, CEO Notorious Swiss Cheezzze Boom informed our reporter. “We assure you they will be in pristine condition, ready to dethrone the virus and run the streetz as they deserve to be run.”, Mr. Boom assures us.

Switzerland is halfway through a three-stage process of easing the lockdown measures. The restrictions were first loosened in April with more liberties restored today, May 11. The final touch will come in about a month from now, on June 8, when the rivers will be allowed to resume their flow and the Matterhorn may come out and play with the neighbors’ peaks again.

Looking forward to the first beats of life, bro!

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