Elon Musk’s son had better occupy Mars because on Earth his name doesn’t stand a chance

Los Angeles. California. Completely snubbing perfectly fine quarantine name options such as Sham-Poo, Saourdough, or Tupperrrwairrrr, Elon Musk and partner Grimes decided to name their newborn son X AE A-12. Let’s repeat that. Slowly: X AE A-12. Understandably, the unusual choice comes as a surprise to more conservative parents for whom Paul, James, or Patrick would have worked just fine.

“It is common that normal people don’t put a lot of thought into naming their children. Sure, there’s a Truxton, a Krithik, and a Cosmo out there trying their luck at touching any ball in the company of their peers but you have to ask yourself, does your child even mean anything to you if its name is comprised only of letters?”, sociologist John Smith rightfully points out.

Such concerns are obviously very far from proud father, Elon Musk. He informs that naming his youngest child X AE A-12 will come in handy when his son becomes Emperor of Mars in 30 years’ time, although he has nothing against the little bundle of joy starting the colonization within the next 3 months. “Every parent has high expectations for their children. You just can’t start to build that pressure soon enough.”, Elon Musk gushed over the new addition to the brood. “While mortals dream of their children becoming doctors or lawyers, my son will go quite a few steps farther to be the first Supreme Emperor of Mars. He’s already a huge Bowie fan at only 3 days old. I guess the dice have already been cast! Precocious little darling!”

Taking a step back from the standard fatherly enthusiasm, it seems to us that the baby’s only choice is to indeed colonize the fourth (and the second smallest, btw) planet from the sun as on Earth, with this name, he doesn’t stand a single chance, unless he’s prepared to reinvent the fast scan, bar code, or the password generator industry or something.

Good luck, little man!

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