Human rights activists demand McDonald’s restaurants reopen immediately


Planet Earth. After multiple weeks of mcdonaldslessness, human rights activists, put under tremendous pressure by international NGOs, issued an appeal to the management of the popular restaurant chain.

“We and 90% of the Earth’s population are at our wit’s end, Mr. McDonald. The current state is unacceptable and we demand immediate action to rectify the situation. As honest taxpayers, we need your food in our lives. Yes, it is suboptimal and it just might win us the disease lottery, but God is it good! We are human, therefore hunger for cheeseburgers.”, Barb A. Queue, leader of the Elementary Nutrition Rights Association began her appeal.  

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