Pyongyang. North Korea. Multiple news outlets reported yesterday, April 21, that the Supreme Leader’s health was deteriorating after undergoing a serious cardiothoracic surgical procedure.
“We don’t know anything for certain about the notoriously secretive leader. However, judging by recent events and a notable absence from the anniversary of his grandfather’s birthday on April 15, chances are his cardiac muscle has seen better days. The thing is, you do not simply stop cooperating with the Supreme Leader. We assume that as a consequence of its rebellion, the vital organ was given an ultimatum. Should it refuse to function correctly again, the Supreme Leader’s heart will be deported to a labor camp where it can think about its choices while further developing its survival skills.”, North Korea specialist Dick Tator declared in an interview with one of our reporters.
Cardiologists explain that serious heart disease is not uncommon in leaders who enjoy abundant meals and a varied nutrition while the majority of the population is starving. “You don’t have to believe in Karma for it to work. This is not homeopathy.”, Dr. Brian Goodheart explains.
We are closely monitoring the situation and will update you as soon as the Supreme Leader of North Korea starts setting off fireworks in his backyard again. Stay tuned!