Studies find that 60-hour workweeks make regular ones feel like being on vacation

Employees working hard in their calling

Bern. Switzerland. Great discoveries have been made recently at the University of Bern, Switzerland. Universal champions of incorruptible work ethic, the Swiss have plunged into a yearlong study of the oftentimes fragile work-life balance, only to bring surprising discoveries to our attention.

One such discovery is explained by Ph.D. Schaffner. ‘We are an ingenious people whose determination knows no bounds, that is also one of the reasons why sometimes we find it hard to stop. As a matter of fact, unable to do so most of the times, we have to constantly reinvent a new balance, to recreate a new relationship between our work and private life, while still regarding the importance of the latter with a certain skepticism.’⁷

This tendency has been confirmed by the Confederate Assembly for Labor and Workforce. Dr. Nocheinbitzle explains ‘Unhappy with an average 45-hour workweek many employers, but also employees, have opted for at least one 60-hour workweek per month.’ This helps everybody put matters into perspective, the study finds.

‘No one ever gets to feel overwhelmed anymore. After working 60 hours, a regular week feels like vacation. It feels like freedom while of course you still stay productive and useful, fiercely defending your spot in the world. Who could ask for more?’, so Adriano Laborale, CEO of Laborale Enterprise and leader by example.

There are also immediate benefits to these findings, as they could help adjust time off policies in the future. ‘6 weeks of holidays per year? I am sure there is room for optimization here.’, Dr. Nocheinbitzle announced this morning.

Unfortunately, none of the interviewees were available for further comment as the 5 minutes break they allowed themselves to conduct this interview had to be atoned for by a minimum of 6 hours of uninterrupted hard labor at their holy desks.

‘It’s all a matter of perspective.’, Dr. Nocheinbitzle assures us.

We recommend Dr. Nocheinbitzle a cultural exchange with colleagues from Spain. As a great thinker once said ‘Perspective must be expanded in all directions.’


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