Nutritionists identify fulfillment and joy as common side effects of Fast Food


San Bernardino, California, United States. Many a scientist, a person of letters, and mystery hunters have tried to answer the eternal question: “Do we live to eat or do we eat to live?” with incomplete or unsatisfactory results. Thus, nutritionists from all over the world have come together (shoop hoop du-du-du-duuum) to establish once and for all the effects of food on the human brain, stomach, and overall satisfaction. Where else to organize this international conference, than in the one place on Earth that gave us the iconic, although much-scorned, McDonald’s burger.

“We are trying to debunk myths and defend the reputation of stigmatized junk food, which apart from obesity, high blood pressure, Type 2 Diabetes, and high cholesterol, is also an infallible source of instant gratification, unconditional availability, and a sense of deep emotional fulfillment.”, Ph.D. in Nutrition, Dr. Eppa Cure, reveals.

“It’s hard to argue Dr.  Cure’s position”, Diabetologist Zach A. Rynn, adds. “Have you seen an unhappy person with an open bag of sweets in their hands. Yeah, me neither. The crying usually starts later on.”

While the conference is ongoing and the nutritionists work hard to give a definitve answer, it appears that whether we live to eat or eat to live is directly proportional with the level of deliciousness of the available food and inversly proportional with the level of healthy nutrients these meals bring to the table (no pun intended).

Updates to follow after the lunch break when the participants are bound to come together again (shoop hoop du-du-du-duuum).


Written by Ana-Maria Taut, based on an idea by Anonymous.

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