Crime rates rise dramatically after batmobile is towed for double parking


Barcelona. Spain.  After having had enough of the rainy, cold weather of Gotham City, and looking to eat a more varied diet, convinced that there is life on the other side of a burger, Batman and Robin decided to move to Spain and enjoy its beauty, mild climate, and impressive culinary diversity.

“We chose Barcelona, the pickpocket capital of the world, to carry out our work. It’s a city that undoubtedly needs our attention. We never run out of stuff to do and people to save, and then we get to celebrate our success with small trips to Costa Brava or a swim in the sea (not Barceloneta – yes, we’ve been briefed)”, Batman declared for our newspaper this past weekend.

Things have been going great with the energic duo in town: fewer burglaries, fewer cars broken into, and an overall improved sense of security.  Until one ominous day.

“Robin and I were in a very big hurry to help a mother and her child out of a burning building. We got there in no time in our batmobile and double-parked in a narrow street in the Gothic district. Yes, we know we were not supposed to, but come on, it was the child’s life or a parking ticket. We made the choice any superhero would make.”, Batman stated, defending their actions. Admittedly, their argument is a pretty strong one. Except from the local authorities’ point of view.

“When we came back,” Robin continued, “there was no batmobile. The officers had towed it or at least that’s what a ticket placed on the ground said. (A propòsit, my Catalan has improved a lot since we got here.) Soon after we understood that we were left in the middle of the city without a vehicle, we tried to contact the police and inform them of the exceptional situation. However, it was 12pm when we got there and the offices were already closed. We were lucky enough that Spiderman was in town for the weekend, so we called him up and he gave us a spiderweb ride back to our Airbnb rental where we got a chance to catch up. We weren’t able to find a normal flat to rent yet, so we’ve been staying with Airbnb for 6 months now. It will be hard to move every two weeks without a car, though.”

When asked about his other partner in crime, Batman responded: “No clue whatsoever what Catwoman was doing this weekend. I’m on the wrong end of our love-hate relationship again. It’s just so sad with us sometimes. Sorry, I don’t want to burden you with my woes. And no, I did not slap Robin for double parking and getting us in trouble. It’s me, not a meme!”

Batman and his sidekick are expected to get back to saving our city sometime next month when they will be able to find someone at the police station to talk to in order to recover their batmobile. Until then, they will rely heavily on Uber and T10 for public transport. Please watch your pockets until further notice.


Written by Ana-Maria Taut, based on an amazing idea by Anonymous.

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