Rocket scientists demand right to be pep talked too



Washington, D.C. Sick and tired after years of discrimination and neglect, rocket scientists claim their right to pep talk and encouragement when things get rough in their profession. Studies show an increased level of stress, with some levels reaching up to 8.5 Ω on the stress detector scale.

“We study roughly 25 hours per day. That leaves us with basically no time to eat, sleep or engage in any kind of social activity. There is no life beyond science, not if you’re a rocket scientist, and it would be nice for society to finally acknowledge this fact.”, astrophysicist Brandon Smart E. Pants explains.

“There is no solace on earth for us – for such as we – who search for hidden space dimensions, that we may or may not see. I don’t even remember the last time I saw pizza, for that matter. The delicious pepperoni, the wonderfully molten mozzarella, the crispy thin crust. Would you call that life?”, astronaut Floyd A. Way, member of the space crew Andromeda 8, messaged us to inform. “Popping pills is fine for a while, but everything has its limits. Unless you’re a rocket scientist.”, he added.

Of course, one can get out of the science business if one wants to. “Look at Brian May! He went from rocket to rock scientist like it was nothing! How cool is that?! Looks like someone attended all their noise control seminars.”, former colleague Auggie March pointed out. “But how many of us can do that? Who will dedicate their time to exploring space and time warps, aeroelasticity and whether or not there’s life on Mars? David Bowie?!”

Rocket scientists urge society to acknowledge the hardship that a life in science implies, by sending encouraging photos of cats, puppies, and extra-large pizzas.

Come on folks, it’s not rocket science!

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