Austrian snowmen report altered sense of smell amid viral epidemic as country sinks deeper into snow


Altaussee, Austria. A worrying number of Austrian snowmen have called in sick Monday morning after heavy snows fell over the Alps. The snowmen could not report to work because of respiratory diseases resulting in an increased need for rest and snowmen adapted beverage intake.

The authorities have started to give out extra-thick scarves and hats for the suffering snowmen, while doctors investigate a strange symptom of their affliction. The snowmen are reportedly feeling a strange carrot smell that is causing them great discomfort.

“We still don’t know what is going on at the moment”, Snowmen Specialist PhD. Benjamin Cole Nose explains. “We are investigating and trying to find a remedy before spring comes and wipes out the snowmen colony here in the Austrian Alps. Of course, we are in contact with our German and Swiss counterparts, who speak of the same symptoms in their areas. With Snowmen’s lives so short and fragile we need to make sure we find a cure fast. Until then, please refrain from cooking, baking or otherwise preparing foods that contain carrots as the Snowmen are really grossed out by it.
Thank you.”

Written by Ana-Maria Taut, based on a great idea by Anonymous.

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