Santa Claus questioned by police as proof of illicit dealings with dentists emerges

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Dublin. Ireland. Three days after Christmas Mr. Claus was traced down to a shabby pub North of Dublin. While he was enjoying a well-deserved glass of whiskey after yet another world tour of generosity, two police agents sat down next to him. He sort of knew he was in trouble right away. “I’m old, not stupid… You’re here cuz of the sugar business right?” The agents nodded.

Turns out Santa Claus is supplying the world`s children with sweets, chocolate, and all sorts of sugary cookies as part of a global deal between him and dental healthcare providers. And with so many sugar-loving kiddies all over the world, business is booming.

“It was just one dental clinic at first. I needed some extra cash for the Salvation Army. I wanted to be able to reach out to poor children and get them something nice for Christmas, and then the ball started rolling, word got out and here I am, having an interview with you. And for what? It was a 20%-80% kind of deal… Capitalists!”

The police agents grew soft as they saw Santa crying in his whiskey and offered him to work as an undercover agent, in an attempt to bring down the dental mafia from within. Santa said he needed at least 2 months to think about it, as he really doesn´t want to get involved in more drama. “Even with the dental deal, there are so many kids I don´t manage to get to. They wait for me every year and I keep telling myself it is the last one they’ll wait in vain.”

The agents ordered a glass of whatever Santa was having and looked at each other before reassuring him: “You do your thing, sir. We´ll take care of the Tooth Fairy Mobsters. This conversation never happened.”

Written by Ana-Maria Taut, based on a great idea by Anonymous.

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