Barcelona. Spain. Arguably the most hideous creature to walk God’s green Earth, the Chihuahua, seems to belong to the Canis lupus familiaris subspecies, studies reveal. Despite all evidence (and all common sense), the Chihuahua, somehow, seems to have genetically won its spot alongside … other dogs.
“We have no reasonable explanation for this”, Canine Biologist Ph.D. Denzel Woof confessed. “It neither walks, nor talks like a dog, and although far from us be the intent to body shame a quadruped…I mean…look at it”, he continued.
We did look at it and have almost gone blind. Its eyes, its legs, its pointy nose, its tiny body, not to mention its squeaky bark – all of it – had us almost fooled that it belonged to another category of mammals, namely rodents.
“It is very easy to make this mistake,” Ph.D. Woof continued, “as all obvious evidence seems to point to it, but upon closer consideration, we have come to find that the Chihuahua is a dog. We plan to leave the hard work to psychologists, though. It is now in their hands to establish the reasons behind the human wish to care and share with these creatures. No offense, we love all animals. Sort of.”
Before close of business, none of the psychologists we contacted were able to provide an answer to the aforementioned issue. We will try again tomorrow and follow up on the story. Meanwhile, take a deep breath and … just accept it.