Eye. The United Kingdom. Area man Robert Seethrough was diagnosed with color blindness early Friday morning after he was rushed to the hospital following an entire week of seriously bad choices. Mr. Seethrough had reportedly quit his job as a pilot in order to join the village gang “Sheep Slayers“, has set his living room on fire as part of an initiation ritual, after which he asked his neighbor’s wife out on date resulting in not one, but two black eyes. Last, but not least he also decided to invest his life savings in the financial stability of the National Lottery and paint his house neon yellow.
“I didn’t understand that what I did was wrong!”, Mr. Seethrough explained. “I did notice some flags before making my choices, but they all seemed green to me!”
With 8% of males of Northern European descent affected by some form of color blindness, Mr. Seethrough’s actions and the motivation behind them seem understandable.
“I thank God, that I was able to drive and get my pilot’s license without any incidents. Thinking back about all the lives I put in danger and saved at the same time, I can’t help, but think of my self as a small-town hero!”
Apparently, the authorities thought otherwise after hearing Mr. Seethrough’s declarations and stripped him of his pilot’s license. However, they were determined to show leniency toward the poor chap and let him keep his driving license (as most of the inhabitants of the village are sheep and cows anyways).
With a lot of time to think about his affliction and the consequences of his actions, Mr. Seethrough was escorted home by a cute and empathetic nurse, which he surprisingly knew better than to hit on. After the unexpected diagnosis, Mr. Seethrough is fully aware that some things that seem green, are actually alarmingly red.
Not bad, Mr. Seethrough. Not bad.