Zürich. Switzerland. Swiss citizen Caspar Zimmerli was rushed to the University Hospital Zürich by an ambulance after displaying multiple symptoms of a heart attack earlier this morning. Mr. Zimmerli had collapsed to the ground after experiencing a squeezing sensation in his chest, shortness of breath and a sudden dizziness.
After being treated and stabilized, Mr. Zimmerli explained the cause of this unfortunate event. “I was walking down the Bahnhofstrasse watching the wonderful Christmas lights and enjoying a calm Sunday morning, when upon looking down at the pavement, I saw a single, wrinkled bubblegum wrapper of red colour just lying there. I confess, that ever since I was a small child, I heard legends and stories of far away places where littering existed and I admit that I have lived in constant fear of one day experiencing this reality. When I saw the wrapper, conspicuously displayed on the Zürcher sidewalk, my heart literally skipped a beat and then it went completely out of control. I remember little apart from the fact that I tried to grab it, before anyone else would see it. I was in shock.”
Mr. Zimmerli was not allowed to continue the interview as rest is of utmost importance after the damage of a heart attack. A close family member has removed the bubblegum wrapper from Mr. Zimmerli’s pocket in order to avoid him reliving the horror later when he would get home. The hospital staff was so kind to destroy the evidence and assured that Mr. Zimmerli will be seeing a therapist for at least 4 weeks after his hospital discharge in order to cope with the trauma.
We wish him gueti Besserig! And implore tourists and citizens to spare the Swiss sidewalks from uncivilized acts of vandalism.