Sauropods unhappy with Pangaea split as major airlines triple the cost of intercontinental flights


Pangaea, Earth. “Things are not what they used to be. Ever since our supercontinent started breaking up into pieces, our life has changed,” Mrs. Bigsome, the wife of the Gigantosaurus Community Leader explained. “Despite our political success, we’re not a wealthy sauropod family. With all of us in one place, living in harmony and carefree, we did not see the point of gathering more than we needed. How are we supposed to reunite with our families now? Most airline companies have tripled the airfares in an attempt to benefit from our geological misfortune. Before all of this, it was much easier to reach our destinations. And businesses had a more dinosaurly approach to profit. I heard DinoAir intents to charge per dinosaur kilogram.  Have you checked out the circumference of my paw? We´re not Minmis. Oh, how I wish the plates would not have moved!”

We left Mrs. Bigsome to shed a tear over the gigantosauresque disaster and moved on to the lively Mr. Kent, a Supersaurus, who passionately brought another aspect of the issue to our attention. “We feel insulted, really, by the audacity of most airline companies. They are twisting our paws, which is what this is. Look at the Pterosaurs, they can fly everywhere they want, right? And what about us? We demand fair chances for sauropods. Or what, aren’t we all the same? If you look for our fossils, will you not find them?”

Last but not least we questioned an Apatosaurus, who could not be bothered to share his name with us. His take on the issue was slightly different: “Yeah, well, it sucks to have to pay so much only to travel to other continents, but what I’m thinking is why bother to go in the first place. We’ve got more water, more beaches, global temperatures going down slowly, why make a fuss about it?”

It is safe to say that the super continental riff has torn the dinosaur world apart, causing tension, concern and post-traumatic stress disorder with avoidant undertones among the population. Luckily, none of our reporters provided any information to the interviewees about the inescapable Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction. This level of discretion is meant to help avoid spreading panic throughout the newly formed continents and to ensure that subsequent to our visit the dinosaurs will live happily until one day they will die.

“Die-off “, said Martin, our appointed time-traveler.

“Whaaaaaat?!”, exclaimed Mrs. Bigsome with complete and utter horror in her eyes.

Written by Ana-Maria Taut, based on an idea by Anonymous.

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