Schoolchildren excited to learn about the Döner Kebab animal and the Barbeque Sauce plant as the school year is about to kick off

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Barcelona, Spain. An unprecedented enthusiasm has been spotted among schoolchildren this year as the Spanish Ministry of Education revolutionizes textbooks and mandatory subjects.

It is expected for kids to run to class on Wednesday, September 12, in order to occupy the best seats available as their hearts will overflow with eagerness to learn about things such as the mysteriously delicious Döner Kebab animal, the Barbeque Sauce tree and a brief history of emoticons.

“We are trying to meet them halfway. It is hard to win the attention of today’s children, thus we have decided to approach their world and address their interests and passions directly”, the spokeswoman for the ministry, Quinn Sábe, declared on Tuesday evening in a press release.

It is said that optional courses on youtube vlog directing and Instagram storytelling are in the making, to allow children to develop their creative side without the pressure of excessively many years of artistic tradition. “A clean slate.”

“We want to tell children that we think math has been undeservedly occupying the spotlight for way too many generations now. It’s high time to shift focus and teach practical things that immediately benefit the survival and wellbeing of our young, such as where one can harvest burgers, how one can use lasers to make a cat switch the light on, but mostly off, and how to boost the credibility of your poker face, which will come in handy a lot over the next few years as children transition into adolescence, but why not, also later in life”, Quinn concluded.

Written by Ana-Maria Taut, based on a great idea by Anonymous.

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