Galvonia P83. A promising offspring of one of the royal Galvonian couples has let its species down about half a light-year ago when he failed to conquer Earth over a rather trivial issue. Zosmus was quick to explain that this unfortunate event was caused by leaving the electric charger at home while on an expedition on Earth. (Yes, he was repeatedly told by everybody else to stop being so pretentious and just forget about this renewable power nonsense.)
“I had about two-thirds of the Earth’s population loaded in my space ship when I realized that the battery was really low. No way I could have gotten everybody back to Galvonia on 4% energy left. People of the Earth seemed to understand my pain over the low battery situation, although I don’t see how, and they promised I could come and conquer them some other time.”, Zosmus told his fellow aliens with tears in his eyes.
“I had to kindly ask everyone to step out of the vehicle. It was really embarrassing.”, he continued visibly affected by the event. “I don’t know how I could be so forgetful about the energetic level of the space ship. We were really close to Earth domination and I don’t know, Earthlings seem so nice, and they’re really good at sports.”
Standing in front of his peers and the Galvonian royal family, Zosmus did seem to have a valuable piece of information to share: “Mom, dad, brothers, sisters, friends, extras – I bind my honor to you, that what I’m going to say now is nothing but the truth – despite all evidence and common sense – the Earth is not flat. I tried falling off of it in order to speed up my return, but instead, I sort of bounced, flying off like a feather. I am not quite sure what weird physics they have over there, but their planet is round like a yo-yo. Thank you…And sorry.”
Written by Ana-Maria Taut based on a great idea by Anonymous.