München, Germany. The giant of European consumer electronics, Media Markt, has announced it up to 1000 vacancies for shop assistants throughout the whole continent. “As the demand is growing and we are opening more and more stores, we need people who share and represent our values. We are expecting our new shop assistants to be the interface between us as a company and the customers who trust us.”, Markus Wierdoh, the spokesperson for Media Markt Germany informed the press on Tuesday.
“We are ready to welcome onboard people with a strong sense of timing, ease for dissimulating technical knowledge and exceptional hide and seek abilities. We don’t sell a product. We sell an experience. The customer comes to our store and leaves with a more serious understanding of what patience means, for example.”, Markus continues. “We achieve this by challenging the customer to try and find one of our shop assistance, to begin with. In order to receive information or guidance regarding a potential purchase our customers need to go through a series of rites of passage, the first of which is finding someone to talk to. For this reason, we are looking for people who are fast, astute and somehow still managed to keep their inner child alive. I am looking at you hide and seek aficionados!”
“At the same time, we are aiming towards challenging our Germanness and trying out something fun. Maybe you’ve had a long day? Maybe you have a way too possessive relationship with your free time? We have just what you need! Come and play hide and seek with our employees! It’s free, fun and fabulous all in one!”
To whom it may concern, the application forms can be dropped off at your local Media Market store. If you manage to find anyone to give it to, that is.
Written by Ana-Maria Taut, based on a great idea by Anonymous.