Labor union proposes new set of rules for home office workers


Barcelona, Spain. The philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways. The point, however, is to change it”, thought Carlos Marcos as he walked up the stairs to an important labor union meeting. He and his colleagues were about to negotiate a new set of conditions for home office workers throughout the region.

One must be aware that the reward for labor, and quantity of labor, are quite disparate things”, he informed his colleagues. “We must compensate the home office workers for their efforts in a way that does not rely solely on a fluctuating economical market. In order to keep employees happy I suggest the companies adapt to their needs: increased nap time, free laundry service at indiscriminate hours, a housekeeper with a master’s degree in reuniting misplaced socks, and frozen pizza delivery.”

The other members of the union frowned at Carlos, after which he proceeded. “Frozen pizza, just so we make sure nobody gets too cocky and figures they don’t need the union anymore.” An air of relaxation spread across the room.

“Also, compañeros, let’s not forget that the production of too many useful things results in too many useless people. Thus the productivity of these workers needs to decrease a little, in order for their busy work not to result in making them redundant”, Carlos added.

Seeing that Carlos would not let any of his colleagues speak out during the meeting, his wife Jenny pulled him aside:

“Carlos, what’s going on?!”

“Jenny, I really hate wearing pants. I want to work from home and be able not to wear pants, okay? But I need at least one frozen pizza. We all do!”

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