Barking, United Kingdom.“She was capable of naming me Kitty. Go figure!”, muttered the elegant red ball of fur as she entered the psychoanalysts’ office. She didn’t seem in a hurry to sit down and started to look around, sniff the furniture, and cast a mistrustful look towards the couch. After a minute she seemed to be ready to approach the stiff leather stool at the center of the room with slow-paced steps.
“I have no idea what I am doing here, Melissa”, she addressed the psychoanalyst, “and I have no intention of cooperating. However, if you feel inclined to bribe me into opening up with a freshly opened Sheba can, by all means, proceed.” She paused for a second. “In case you’re wondering, I approve of the roasted turkey entrée.
You know, Melissa, I know we, cats, have been used by humans for a long time as affection providers. I mean…no offense, but haven’t they heard of dogs? And of the fact that I would totally eat my “owner”, if she were to give up the ghost within my reach one day. I have a suspicion she is rather bland, though. And by that, I don’t mean her personality.
Truth be told, I do farewell on my own. I eat, sleep, drink perfectly fine and prefer it when someone doesn’t put a collar on me, at least not one saying “My lovely baby, Kitty – heart emoji”. When did they start engraving emojis? Goodness gracious, are we doomed or what? I have to say though, I do allow regular backrubs as long as I am in the mood and I guess sometimes it’s alright for humans to comb my silky smooth hair. How is it not enough that I get to bless them with my mere existence? People…”, Kitty concluded, rolling her eyes in a manner that betrayed an in-depth knowledge of the gesture.
“Well, I guess it’s not too bad to be here after all,” the ginger troublemaker remarked as she was lifting her tail in approval, drawing just about enough validation from Melissa’s exquisite listening skills to keep her talking. “Between you and me, I was really starting to need some space, you know? To get out in the world and do something different. Get to meet other people and give them an opportunity to know me. It’s not something many people can boast of.”
“So, Melissa, how are you feeling today? Are you ready to tell me about your childhood?”