IT company set on creating new opportunities of despair for employees through massive layoffs

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Barcelona, Spain.  Ready to wake 150 employees up from their comfortable professional slumber, a local IT company decided to lay them off for their own benefit, no less.

“Everything was working well, too well I would say. Then we realized we needed to give people new opportunities for a development that was directly proportional to the reorganization of our pockets”, CEO John Gready informed the press on Friday afternoon.

“While taking a fun, peaceful summer away from the people, we are pushing them beyond their comfort zone yet again. We are challenging their perspective on job security and offer them a chance to wake up to the realities of capitalism. We think of it more as a gift than anything else”,  Mr. Gready continued.

Upon interviewing an employee who prefers to maintain his anonymity, we found out the following: “Not many of us were blindsided or taken by surprise. We sort of saw this coming, actually. With our inefficiency, poor work ethics, low technical skills, and not to mention our funny accent, the management simply had no option but to move the entire department to India. I mean, we probably should have suggested this to them a long time ago.”

Others were less understanding and whispered to our reporter: “Man, this sucks, I mean some of us have kids and other age-related illnesses. It freaking hurts. Although, not as much as what happened yesterday to Argentina. This is just regular pain compared to that, Caballero Pelotudooo.”

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