Want to chill? Catch a cold!

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Paul D. is desperate.  The extremely hot weather has really gotten to him,  so in an attempt to end his ordeal, he tried to copy his friend’s Luke C’s recipe: he tried to catch a cold. „My friend Luke caught a cold, I really don`t know how he did it, he won`t tell. But the lucky bastard doesn’t mind the red code heat alerts because he has something like a fever condition, and from time to time he is shivering with cold. He even refuses to take medication because he doesn’t want to feel the devastating effects of the Saharan weather that has hit us”, says Paul. In the attempt of trying to catch that cold, he has applied multiple plans. „I drank form the same beer bottle as Luke. Nothing. I didn’t insist with the fluid exchange because, you know… So, I ran for about 2 kilometres  and immediately got under an air conditioning machine in a store. No cold, just extreme back pain. I tried eating rapidly lots of ice cream. Nothing, just a little bit more belly fat . I tried cold showers. Nothing apart from a temporary lack of libido. Just temporary, I assure you”, explains the unfortunate Paul. He wanted to add that during this time he wished to have never met his wife, Roxanne, because she can’t stand the air conditioning, thus he has to withstand 40 degrees C with the endurance of a Stoic. Ugh.

On the other hand, Luke is feeling „fine and special. I like being cold in this  hot weather.  Now I can say that I feel great! Okay, I may be a little dizzy, but I really don`t mind. I practically don’t know how I got this cold, but I´m trying hard to nail the perfect contributors down.  Have I told you that I feel special? A neighbour just told be that only real men catch a cold in summer. I feel proud of myself!”– explained Luke.

So, if you want to chill during this awfully hot atmosphere and you don`t have your own air conditioning machine, be like Luke and catch a cold. After all, you are a responsible citizen and you can’t spend your days and nights drinking beer somewhere outside, in a nice outdoor pub that has some tables put under a nice, thick shade.

 

Written by Lucian Cozma, edited by Ana-Maria Taut.

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