Italian Medieval poet Dante Alighieri returns from the dead to report on a new circle of hell destined to people in the Reggaeton industry


Florence. Italy. ‘I was sleeping peacefully by Beatrice’s side when I felt a sharp nudge in my heart. The good people of Earth needed me. It seems like they have been invaded by a horrendous musical style that spreads across the world faster than the bubonic plague. Despair not! I have risen from the dead to bring hope and inform you about the tenth circle of hell under construction right now, dedicated to the people who produce, promote and spread this music across the globe. Despacito, but surely, they will all end up here. And their punishment will be merciless. We’re in the process of obtaining legal rights for Ed Sheeran’s ‘Shape of you’ to be played there for all eternity.’

Virgil’s ghost flickered on the horizon confirming Dante’s promises. ‘It’s basically all a matter of patience and not leaving your house. Go to the library, read a book. Turn off the radio. Listen to metal.’

The great Medieval poet made no comments on the punishment that awaits reggaeton fans. It is highly likely though, that they will get to spend some time in Purgatory thinking about the choices they made while alive.


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