Middle aged man regrets missed opportunity to appropriate more office supplies before being let go

area man

‘I am an honest man’, Richard Burroughs, told his best friend. ‘Most of the time, that is.’ He had a desolate look on his face, the look one discovers only on the faces of men who let the opportunity of a lifetime pass them by.  ‘Endless supplies of blank white paper, ballpoint pen, even wireless mice were up for grabs all these years. I wish I had paid more attention to details. There was this nice cup in the kitchen that I always thought would look great on my bedside table.’

Richard has no idea what he is going to do with his future or if there’s even such thing, but decided for now to focus on small regrets: ‘I really miss my ergonomic office chair and the free coffee, although it tasted like mud most of the time. You know, I just wish I would have taken something  to prove to my grandchildren that I had a job once!’

Mr. Burroughs was reportedly let go by his employer after having spent 13 years with the company. He is soon to be replaced by a young and attractive AI robot who is predicted to want to take over and destroy humanity in two to three months. Until then it is expected to increase the company’s profit by 66%.

 

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