Area woman wearing ‘too hot for heaven too cool for hell’ slogan shirt clearly neither


An overconfident woman was spotted Monday morning at a busy metro station. She stood out in the crowd for wearing one truly empowering message across her chest, inviting the type of attention later to be condemned as objectifying.

Admittedly, ‘too hot for heaven too cool for hell’ is one step up from ‘born to be fabulous’ or ‘queen of the trailer park’ one onlooker thought, but still kind of sad when not matched by reality. ‘She looks like the kind of girl who is in bed by 10pm, for Chrissake!’

‘It’s great to feel like you’re the latest craze, but be careful for your newfound attitude not to come across as the latest crazy’, overexposure expert dr. Dennis Small reveals. ‘It’s important to maintain a balance between reality and delusion, as unappealing as this may seem.’

The average looking woman, with probably a thing for shoes, quickly disappeared into the masses, turning her back to the passerby. ‘Why am I so mediocre?’ read the backside of her shirt. As soon as he caught sight of this, the poor chap desperately tried to catch up with her, exceptionally elbow-striking three to five individuals on the platform (this is not how he would normally treat his fellow humans), but, alas, it was too late.

‘Isn’t it always?’, he thought to himself.

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