Planet Earth. Following a brief press conference on Thursday morning, Snow has informed the world that this Christmas shall not be a white one, yet again. When asked by our reporter whether this was an attempt at inclusion and a statement against discrimination, Snow answered that all colors are beautiful and that grey skies and dull days should enjoy equal opportunity and a chance to come out of the shadow of their dreamy, snowy counterparts.
‘The power of making the main capitalist celebration of the year something special lies in your hearts’, Snow added somewhat disappointed in mankind. ‘What have I got to do with it anyway? Moreover, I am fully aware of the fact that I am not the Snow you really want – wink, wink. So for those of you who are still dreaming of a white Christmas: dream on!’
It seems that Snow’s attitude changes like the weather. Who can understand it anymore?
After the press conference, the Sun was also contacted but declined to comment. Rain desperately tried to get its 15 minutes of fame, but nobody was interested in listening.
Whatever. Happy human holiday!