What is Friendzone and how to get there

We have gathered here today with Ph.D. Carl Gustav Young to talk about what defines Friendzone, what are its psychological consequences and how to live a happier and more balanced life while trapped in its trenches.

Mr. Young, thank you for accepting our invitation.

First of all, please explain to our readers what Friendzone is. How would you define it?

Thank you for having me, Henry. In itself, Friendzone is a straight forward concept. Imagine you walk down the street and you see someone waving frantically. You smile and wave back. Then you realize they are waving at the person right behind you. That’s it, Henry. That’s Friendzone right there for you.

How does one make it down this slippery slope?

After decades of research in this field, the conclusion is simple: all you have to do to get stuck in this limbo of confusion and frustration is to actually be nice. That’s the fastest ticket to the Friendzone. Try to be open, honest and trustworthy. You’ll become someone’s safe space in no time. As a region of the Friendzone, the safe space is the hardest to escape from. Nobody wants to compromise their one nook of comfort. So just to sum it up for you: be nice, do what you say and act your age. You’re good to go.

Thank you, dr. Young, that was indeed insightful. Could you please describe Friendzone’s ecosystem for a better understanding of how life is possible there?

Henry, I’m gonna put it this way. Imagine two people shaking hands. Through their posture, both of them are expressing respect and courtesy, while at the same time keeping each other at a certain distance. It is mostly a dynamic of acceptance and rejection, where rejection actually overrules acceptance. This is usually comfortable for one of the parties involved and deeply tormenting for the other. In most cases, both parties are aware of this reality and play dumb when close to acknowledging it verbally. This leads us back to the handshake.

Third parties can also get indirectly involved in the vicious cycle and more often than not they end up by making it stronger. The friend has been already a long time in the Friendzone and is unwilling to yield his imaginary status. He has by now gone all Stockholm syndrome on his own delusions.

Fascinating, dr. Young. Very interesting, indeed. But let’s say at some point the one trapped there, let’s call him the Trappee, suddenly realizes his condition and wants to leave the emotional swamp for fresher waters? What are the steps to achieve this goal?

Henry, we are getting to the difficult part of our conversation. To be honest, test results have been inconclusive so far in regards to breaking out of the Friendzone. Personally, I would say that getting a life could actually help. Do something constructive, read a personal improvement book, go to the gym, start believing in God, deconstruct your poker face. Anything that might muffle that obsession. In most cases, it is actually only an even more powerful obsession that can set you free. You only get over someone by getting under someone new? It’s like that, but apply it to the mind.

Dr. Young, you are helping thousands of readers right now. I am sure many people lost in the Zone’s narrow roads are drawing wisdom and comfort from your words. Is there anything that you would like to especially draw their attention to?

The worrying aspects of our studies show a pattern of behavior among trappees. After a certain amount of time spent in the Friendzone, the subjects displayed the tendency towards emulating their trapper’s behavior by finding a trappee of their own. We believe it to be an attempt to level with their own trapper, but research on this topic is still in its early stages. What I can say for sure, is that it is a psychologically contagious disease and tends to spread fast. I would like to raise awareness of this troubling trend.

Dr. Young a few last words on the topic?

If it’s not beneath you, there’s always revenge.

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