Merryville. Florida. “We took this decision long before agreeing on adoption. We exhausted all natural possibilities of having children pretty quickly and were faced with a bitter dilemma: do we let this limit our happiness or not? We both felt strongly that we are more than ready to become parents, but we wanted to be responsible, make sure our children don’t grow up to drag us into a pit of shame by making their own choices. No, we knew from the get-go we would want our child to be just like us decent, serious, hard-working and gay!
There are a few essential values we feel strongly about and need to pass on to the next generation. Our plan is simple but hopefully efficient. At first, we will dress our son as a girl for one week, the next as a boy, just to make sure we confuse him and determine him to question heterosexuality from the very beginning of his life. Then we will expose him to our gay friends only and explain how girls are mean and sex with girls kills you first, then gets you to burn in hell.
Of course, we will instill in him the idea that sex is bad, only if not performed with a man. Why? Because we say so and we are his parents and he must obey us. By the time he will be three he will surely have become a pre-gay child (thanks, Larry David!). Many people misjudge us and think we want to adopt children in order to love and care for them, in order to be a family. Most of them don’t see, nor understand our hidden agenda of forcing our sexual orientation upon them.
My partner Ian and I also have a business project outlined. We dream to create the Gay Boot Camp, a nest of homosexuality, where boys can thrive and be who we want them to be. We intend to send our son there every summer until he transitions from pre-gay to straight gay! As a homosexual community, we carry and share the responsibility of converting as many people as possible.
Don’t say no, until you’ve tried it!