Enlightened couple decides to skip straight to divorce after two weeks of dating

Splitsville. USA. Katherine Young (26) and Jeremy Daugherty (28) have decided to take their relationship to the ultimate level after 5 dates that spanned over a total of 14 days.

“The moment I looked into his eyes, I knew he was the one I would want to end up divorcing”, Katy tells us. “I could foresee a future of love, harmony and deep friendship that I would want to destroy for no obvious reason. From the very first second, I knew he was the one who deserved to embark on this journey of misery. He just seemed so nice.”
How does Jeremy feel about the whirlwind romance? “I mean, at first it felt a little intense when she proposed it to me, but then it totally made sense. The love I feel for her is beyond marriage, children, housework, that lifestyle. I wanted to make her feel special. I wanted to show her something different. Divorce was my unique way of expressing the depth of this feeling.”

How is this working out in the present? “Oh, we’re just as bitter and disappointed as any broken couple”, Katy assures us. “We threaten ourselves with financial ruin and expose each other’s sexual preferences on social media. I focus on disclosing his professional insecurities to his coworkers and he calls up my mother and tells her how I would have slept with his brother if only we would have had more time to know each other. He’s clearly right.”

With loving eyes, Jeremy whispers: “Thank God we didn’t have children!”

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